i’m really tired of dwelling on the pitiful.
so i guess i’ll stop.
because even when i’m not proud of who i am, or the choices i’ve made, it’s still who i chose to be. and the choices are still my own.
and i can be proud of that.
2009 isn’t so far away and i’m amazed how quickly time goes by. sometimes i just want to pack my bags and move someplace where i’m all alone, and nobody knows me, and i can be whoever i want to be. but then i get tired of thinking about what i would have to do to keep myself entertained, and how lonely i’d be on the inside.
and how i’d miss oscar, especially, because he’s my buddy.
and sometimes i think about my new years resolutions. like, how i want to get skinny and start waking up earlier than 5 minutes before i have to leave… and how i want to keep my house clean and tell john i love him more and actually mean it…
and how i want to finish the twilight series and stop wasting my life watching movies and tv. and how i’m going to be serious about starting my “photography thing” and looking for a new job that i can actually stand…
and also how i doubt most of things will actually happen, as is the case with most resolutions. but we’ll see.
because i mean them.