you gotta let it go, girl.

why in the world do i always feel the need to be creative when i’m stuck in a cube of an office for seven more hours?!

i have been etsy-ing and discovering some of the most inspiring people who thought to use feathers on headbands and lace and velvet on slips so that they can show from under your skirts and hand stamped dog and cat id tags that are actually works of art!
it makes me want to go to jo-ann’s fabrics and buy everything from lace to buttons to fabric to elastic to yellow thread and a sewing machine!
someone please come be creative with me so we can quit our jobs and make it big enough to love what we do (while making it worthwhile) :]

in other latest thoughts of yours truly… i have been thinking so much lately about the concept of marriage.
it’s something all of us see and hear and maybe even talk about every day, but before i got married i never knew that people were speaking the ultimate truth when they said marriage is a lot of work.
every. single. day.
this past weekend i admitted to myself as well as to my husband that i am not good about talking to him first (or anyone at all, really) when i’m going through something especially difficult (in regards to my marriage, mostly). sometimes i’m left to my own demise and fuel the thoughts that i am so alone and without hope.
which is absolutely not true.
sometimes john looks at me while i’m talking to him with a sadness that encompasses every form of the thought “how do you still not know that i am always here for you every moment of every single day?”
and it makes me feel so foolish, and selfish. that i could even for one second think that nobody could understand and that “i just love so much more than anyone else…”
sometimes i’m amazed at how full of bullshit i constantly am.
does anyone else ever feel this way?

i found this and was strikingly convicted by such a cute little cartoon:
let-go-of-what-you-think

it’s true though… who am i to think that everything i think or even what i feel is right or justifiable.
i also felt bad for thinking of someone other than myself first when seeing this cartoon, but that’s more of an issue i’m going to have to tackle in a later post. ha.

john and i talked a lot about thought patterns yesterday. or was it “mapping”, i can’t remember. he knows a whole lot more about psychology than i probably ever will, even though it’s interesting to me.
we talked about how people get into habits of thinking or responding to thoughts in a certain way even if that way is harmful or even detrimental. but how do you stop?

the fact of the matter is (actually i’m just jumping topics in my mind, so this isn’t the fact of any matter, actually)… it’s going to be a pretty day. and i’m wearing my kelly green thrift store sweater that i think i’m in love with (sorry, baby…) and i feel like i’m going to be okay. and i know that i’m loved oh so much… and i know that i’m not alone, even though i have a major problem of feeling like i am. and i’m looking at this website right now, and for those of you who know me, know that this could do nothing other than put me in a lovely frame of mind/mood/whatever.
and hey, for real, who wants to be creative with me? :]

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About Rachel Halsey

i'm like a faucet that leaks, but there is comfort in the sound.

One response to “you gotta let it go, girl.

  1. thahalsey

    you are the most creative person i know! i think that if the right person is put in a boring, repetitive job they can only think of creative things. i have an idea…i’ll buy you a cheap tamborine and a microphone and we can make odd music together :) i’m so glad all the time that i’m married to the most amazing and selfless woman in the world!

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