there are very few people in my life that have remained there.
i have had a lot of “friends for a season”…
sometimes even a few seasons.
i never thought of myself as someone who needed the company of other girls. i don’t even like that many girls.
so many girls are obsessed with looks and clothes and reality tv.
or boys and sex and doing whatever is considered popular.
it is rare to meet someone that isn’t freaked out when you talk about your ideal death plan. or how much you hate someone simply because they’re happy all the time and you don’t think this is normal. but mostly the ideal death plan part… this is always a great judge of character.
for me, if i feel close enough to someone to tell them how i wish to die, even going to the extreme of saying that if it doesn’t happen by the time i’m xx years old, i’ll fulfil the plan myself… their reaction in those first few seconds of me finishing a sentence have a lot to do with how i view them from that point on.
if the response is “oh my gosh! what is wrong with you?!” then i usually laugh and say i was just kidding but then secretly plan a way to slowly disperse that person from my life.
if the response is “you’re such a weirdo… but that’s why i love you!” then i know that they have the potential to be a good friend, maybe even one of the closest…. but i will probably never share with them the inner-most workings of my messed up mind.
if the response is not even a blink followed with “yeah… well when i die i hope that it plays out like this…”
that’s when i know i have found my best friend.
the friend and the company i always prided myself on not needing.
and now that i have that person in my life… my heart is swelling with emotions ranging from sadness to anger at the thought of not having her be able to drive to my house in the middle of the night to kidnap me when i’m positive life is over.
we have spent time apart before… but never without a plan of what the future would shortly hold for us (such as living together, etc.)
this time is different.
we’re grownups now. and as much as i wish that i could follow her to school and be her roommate again, i know that i can’t.
and i know that i can’t beg her to stay.
she has so much potential and so much talent and so many dreams… i honestly hope that she is able to fulfil them all. her heart is bigger than anyone else i know… she genuinely cares for people.
i have seen her befriend people that no one else was friends with.
i have seen her have thoughts and opinions that others disagree with, and yet she remains so faithful to her convictions.
she is a true friend. one of the most loyal people i have ever known.
i am so jealous of all the people she is going to meet who get to be friends with her.
she is closer to me than a sister… sometimes it feels like she is an extension of myself. she always gets my jokes or knows why i’m crying. she always knows when to talk, and when to sit beside me in silence.
she is beautiful, inside and out.
i hope that one day she realizes how much she has saved me from.
she is my best friend.
she will be my friend not just for a season or two, but forever.
and of that i am sure.