smoke in the sky.

the clouds are gathering nicely outside…
they look like they’re made from the thickest smoke in all the world.
they are beautiful to me today.
the thought of crying seems even more beautiful.
i feel so stifled as i sit here at the front desk of an office building where i work for hopefully “just a season”. i feel so tired and bland and average.
i keep thinking about the world.
the whole world.
and how many people there are out there.
people with real problems…. so unlike my own.
i get upset when things don’t go my way. i am selfish and rude and sometimes very mean spirited.
i have a temper that could put the devil to shame.
and yet… as i sit here… i am deflated.
i feel sleepy and yet at the same time i want to walk the streets and sleep under a bridge in order to wake myself up from my ridiculous view of problems and pain.
i want to curl up next to my husband in our bed.
i want to shut the world out.
i want the world to be happy and peaceful and beautiful for everyone – not just me.
i want to stop taking everything so for granted.
either that, or i want to fall asleep and never open my eyes again..
because nothing would be more unfair than being blessed with my life and not being thankful for it.

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About Rachel Halsey

i'm like a faucet that leaks, but there is comfort in the sound.

2 responses to “smoke in the sky.

  1. I really do feel like we have the same heart sometimes.

    I say this with no reservation: you are my most beautiful friend.

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