aubrey let me borrow this book that she just finished:
she warned me fairly before handing it to me and i knew what was coming based on conversations she and i had been having about it over the past few days.
i don’t think anything could have really prepared me for reading such an intense (true) story. it makes me want to cry and go to sleep at the same time… it makes me question the things i get upset about… the things that irritate me. it makes me want to study psychology… it makes me want to help people. mostly, it makes me question God and his plan for people. and especially his sovereignty. i know that i can’t understand him… he’s told me how much higher his ways are. i will never understand or comprehend.
but why are some people (like myself, and probably like you) born into a bed of blessings and others (like the woman this book is based around) are born into lives of fear and hatred and pain and heartache? it doesn’t seem the least bit fair.
how much more difficult to believe in a sovereign God when children sob themselves to sleep at night because of what someone did to them….
it’s not fair, no it’s not.
and yet all i can do is be thankful, i guess.
it still makes my heart hurt.
rachel halsey 